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- May 16 2007
- 208 Comments
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My last blog post was about the myth of retirement, and how it robs most people of the happiness they hope for. It really struck a nerve with many of my readers.
If you’ve been patiently waiting for my solution… your wait is over, the cavalry is charging ahead. And if your current situation seems hopeless, you’re in luck, because when we’re done you’ll have an answer that will definitely work for you.
How can I be so sure? Because what I am about to layout for you are the very same strategies guiding me and many of my famous clients.
But before we blitz down the trail together I need to point out a few of the more obvious signs along the way. You see, right now most people have a false sense of certainty about what they believe will be their likely future. Truth be told, most entrepreneurs’ envisioned future isn’t much different from an infant’s security blanket – they both don’t serve any real purpose other than providing a false sense of safety.
I know what I just wrote sounds cold, but think about it. Could you have predicted you current situation (good or bad) 5 years ago? How about 10 years ago? For anyone with even an ounce of ambition cycling through their veins the answer has to be “no.”
From what I gather, the single biggest reason for the gap between what we want and where we end up is perspective. Most people seem to be sleepwalking through life, with little awareness of where they are really heading and even less recognition for what’s going on around them.
So, before you can predict anything, you need to have a clue about the overall context - meaning the environment you currently operate in. You see, one of the biggest factors influencing your future will be how you interact with everything that’s going on around you. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Of course it does. So, let me ask you a question…
“Have you noticed how everything around us is changing so fast these days?”
Think about it. Just compare where the world is today to where it was just a few years ago.
Today, the best selling rap artist is white (Eminem), the most successful golfer is black (Tiger Woods), the tallest basketball player in the NBA is Chinese (Yao Ming), the French have been accusing Americans of being condescending and not caring about the views of foreigners, we now pay for water (bottled water is $9 a gallon) while music is free (sort of), and you need 9 different phone numbers to reach any two of your friends. I could go on and on…
Don’t make the mistake that the business world is somehow immune from the snowball of rapid change. I first noticed how uncertain the future is in the business world after reading Tom Peters’ and Robert Waterman’s book In Search Of Excellence. Peters and Waterman celebrated “excellence in companies that broke the mold”... Years later, these same companies were no longer excellent and the only thing that these excellent companies broke was their ability to survive and thrive.
Celebrated business guru Jim Collins author of bestselling books Built To Last, and Good To Great hasn’t been immune from the hyper-speed of business change either. The companies he profiled in Built To Last, did indeed last, although they weren’t exactly built to emulate.
Over half of Jim’s “visionary companies” have slipped dramatically in performance and reputation since the book’s release. These companies’ visions could now be better categorized as blurry rather than guiding. And chances are good that if he were to rewrite the book today companies like Ford, Sony, Boeing, Nordstrom, Merck, Motorola, and Disney wouldn’t even make his runner’s up list.
Just in case you mistakenly believe I am taking a shot at either Collins or Peters, I’m not. I wouldn’t even dare. These two men rank among my top five business heroes. But the point is obvious nonetheless. With everything changing so fast these days our futures are lot less predictable then ever before.
That’s why it’s no longer safe to assume that your tomorrow will be like today or yesterday, no matter how excellent you’ve been or how long you’ve been around. Moreover, the further you go out into the future the more your vision resembles a fairy tale.
Now before you go any further please read the prior paragraph again. Because when you face up to the hard cold reality that you really cannot be too certain about your future, you realize sacrificing everything for it (the whole retirement idea) doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
Of course you and I both realize the future is going to come. And we all believe certain actions taken today will improve our future.
So how do we balance the two?
If we live completely for today we might find our future somewhat unforgiving and very unpleasant, yet if we live completely for the future we might find we sacrificed our best years for nothing more than a mirage. Either way you end up with a heap of regrets.
Let me remind you that what got us on this conversation in the first place was the scary fact that my masseuse “GP” had not taken a day off in over 180 days. But I never told you why...
When GP first told me about her grueling schedule I asked her when she made time for fun. Initially she tried to feed me some line about making time “here and there”. I would have challenged her on her answer but I could tell by her tone she honestly believed what she was telling me.
My experience coaching so many successful marketing gurus taught me not to challenge closely held beliefs head on. If you do all you meet up with is a lot of resistance, because one of the reasons these people are successful is they’re not easily swayed from their own positive self-affirming beliefs.
I used to come across this all the time when I was coaching. GP like many of my clients had already convinced herself that she actually did have fun. If I challenged her belief she would have gotten defensive and more committed to the belief.
Instead, I asked for the details (which by the way is always the best way to covertly challenge any belief). “Well, tell me, what do you like to do for fun?” I asked. “Lots of things” she replied. “Tell me some of them” I challenged. She thought for a minute or two, and then told me she “used” to have fun by going rollerblading, playing with her dogs, or going to the beach.
Sure, she had things that she “used to do” for fun – but when I pressed further by asking her to tell me some of the things she’s done recently for fun, within the past 4 months, she didn’t have any answers.
GP then admitted to me (and more importantly to herself) she really didn’t make time for fun. It’s sad yet I see it all the time. I got the feeling that GP was hiding. Life was passing her by so fast and she just kept her head down clinging to the certainty of work over the uncertainty of her achieving happiness.
And while this won’t be popular to write I’ll write it anyway because the more I live the more I am convinced of its truth.
And here it is…
Most People Consistently Choose Unhappiness Over Uncertainty.
I know you want to disagree with that statement, don’t you? I know I did. Because if you can prove it’s not true then you’ll never have to inspect your life under that standard.
Let it stew for a few minutes… "Most People Consistently Choose Unhappiness Over Uncertainty".
If you’re up for being real honest with yourself - couldn’t you identify areas of your life where you are currently making that choice. If you ever answered a dream with “Sure, I’d love to, BUT WHAT IF...” What follows next is usually an uncertainty that is dominating your life decisions.
But I don’t want to get too far ahead of ourselves here. I’ve got a lot more to share with you about this, but let me tell you what I asked GP to do, because I want you to do the same. I asked GP to put together a list of 20 things she really enjoys before my appointment the next week.
What about you? Can you do it?
Sadly, many of you will not be able to come up with 20 fun things you enjoy. But if you can come up with even three it’s a start. No matter how many you come up with I want to invite you to post your answers here.
This way we can learn from each other’s lists. My hope is if there are enough people posting we can help the GPs of this world put together a great list for themselves. And like I said, it doesn’t matter how many you have now, just go ahead and share them here.
In my next post I’ll tell you what’s on my list, and how to use this list to dramatically boost your productivity and be a lot more successful a lot sooner.
But first, you’ve got to make the list… So have at it by commenting here.
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- May 08 2007
- 158 Comments
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Last week I got a massage.
It was different than any massage I ever received (which is why I am telling you about it). It reminded me of a key distinction between my most successful clients and those that seem to continually struggle.
The masseuse (I’ll call her GP for short) discovered a big knot in my shoulder and asked me if I work in front of a computer. I said I did and I'd been spending a lot more time typing than I usually do. (The reason for my recent marathon typing sessions is the new report I'm working on. I'm sure it will open people’s eyes just like the Internet Business Manifesto did last year. More on that later...)
The conversation with GP drifted to how many hours a week I work, what I do, and what I do on the weekends.
When she heard how much time I took out of my schedule for fun and time with my family, she was surprised at how I'm able to squeeze in everything. Her response was not unusual at all. In fact, whenever I explain my schedule I'm always greeted with envy first, followed quickly by confusion, then wonder at how I'm able to live my life so well.
Being polite, I asked GP about her schedule. Her answer absolutely horrified me… GP had been working seven days a week for the past 6 months with no days off and no vacations. At first I thought I had misheard her, but I hadn’t. Six massages a day, day in and day out, for over 180 days straight.
She making six figures – but she’s living her "life" based on a faulty assumption I see entrepreneurs making far too often.
Look, even though I’m only 36 years old, I’ve already retired twice. Yet, today I am typing this note to you from my office surrounded by 12 exceptional employees. What happened?... Why the hell am I still working?
The reason I work today is: the whole concept of ‘Retirement’ is fundamentally flawed. The idea that you should sacrifice the best years of your life hoping to discover magical happiness in your later years doesn’t prove out at all. It’s just an old-fashioned theory you’ve been sold – and all you have to do is look around to prove to yourself how unrealistic it is.
In case you didn’t know… only a very small percentage of seniors can actually retire. Nowadays most are forced to work to supplement their income. And the trend is only getting worse. With the recent collapses of private pensions and the continual decrease in purchasing power of social security, many experts have come to the same conclusion…
“I don’t think were going to see another generation that’s going to fully retire. There's going to be a lot of people that are going to continue to work for the rest of their lives.” Doug Lockwood, Retirement Specialist, Harbor Lights Financial Group.
But what’s even worse is this sort of “hoping it will be better later” dramatically decreases the likelihood you’ll ever achieve the success you desire.
Soon I’ll tell you why this is. But for now you need to think about the answers to these two questions as you go through your day:
What if you could never retire?
What if the way you choose to work today would set the pattern you must continue until the day you die? What would you be doing differently?
Let me know your answers to these two vital questions by posting your comments here:
And if you think you know why this reduces your chances of overall success, tell me why.
Then be on the look out for another message from me… because I’m going to tell you how to dramatically increase your chances of success AND at the same time enjoy your life a whole lot more than you do now. Interested?... Stay Tuned….
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Rich Schefren
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