1) The trick is not to get stuck on the idea that sharing your story is required. That’s not necessarily the point. The idea is that they may share their story with you, and you are not judgmental or in a hurry. That is why Facebook is so popular. We can post a beef about our day, and a few responses let us know someone is listening. It is when you are caught deeply listening, even if it is only a tweet, you respond in kind. This response to conversation is where people can “vision” the kind of person you are and begin to trust you. You show up. You are kind. You post cool stuff. We like you.

2) The Image of Strength is sooooo old hat.

The fact is, we don’t need any images of any ideal. That’s all the stuff we can’t trust. The best way to get an idea of what kind of good will is “out there” for you is to post about a failure and every step that got you there. Ask for help! When your story is very real, and we can feel your actual anxiety, we jump up to help out! If you haven’t done the conversation thing very well, unqualified people show up. But if you are active in your circle, and people love what you bring to the table, they will rise up to help. When the website of a friend was down, I helped her with a page that said, “We need surgery and are in dire need of encouragement.” Her site is much-loved. She got over 500 testimonials and offers of money in less than three days. She had what Tara Hunt calls, “Whuffie.” It is a fund of good will that is more valuable than ideals of any kind. After we saw the response, we also posted a “Donate” button, and the gain was substantial when we let the entire list know that the situation was dire and would require funding. They jumped to the occasion!

3) When someone knows you have gone through the trouble of being a human and deeply listening–feelingly, empathetically–they are not thinking, “He is like me,” they are wondering, “What’s the next step? Where’s he going with this?” It’s like being a good dancer–we have to predict the next step together. There’s always a flow back and forth. Asking about their needs, and really listening by responding with your own reflection on the same issues, let’s them know they can talk to you. They feel you heard them.

Show up with goods, whether by tweeting links or sending out value to your list. Get the focus on them. (Hey! I found this cool thing you might like!!) Allow your faults to be perfectly ok. (My site is down and needs surgery.) Be kind. (“Love your pic!”)

Spread it around. Gain some friends in the process.

The response is bound to be, “So, I’ve seen you around here before. What do you do?”

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Feel, identify, acknowledge, and then ease those fears with everyone involved from the bottom to the top and you will get the business.

Ease fear, objections disappear, and the price of your product vs. your competition does not matter.

After “pounding the turf” for nearly 40 years I am here to transform my slow and limited “turf” process to an internet process.

My questions:
How do you develop and plan the “process” to identify and address the individual fears when you are not there to verbally and/or physically identify and address them?

What is the process to transfer your friendly personality and warm smile that gets you past the executive’s “gatekeepers” on to the internet?

We think we’re “special” (how many times did your momma TELL you you were special?), that no one else is as messed up, that no one could possibly like us or understand us if they knew the depths of our “brokenness”.

What a revelation to learn that everyone else, from the most successful to the bum on the street, has the same self-doubts and insecurities! Yet, we live life crippled by our delusion that no one would like us if they knew us, that no one else could understand us.

What a blessing it is to meet someone who knows and empathizes with our mental machinations. We’ll share EVERYTHING with them. (Often times we MARRY them!)

How to be that person for other people, without using it to manipulate and SELL them something? There’s the rub.

It’s almost as if you have to (dare I say the word?) LOVE them!

This is a beautiful example of what “That which is most personal, is most general” really means.

What is clear from the value you’re providing to your readers, both in these posts, and in your attention to reading and replying to our comments, is your compassion and integrity.

I’ll bet that has come because of your challenges, not in spite of them.

Great series! Thanks!

I’m starting a blog. I want to use it as a market research tool. Once I get some feedback then I will know what my potential customers want and what services and products I should be developing to solve their problems.

My website is finding two audiences. One audience is looking for education. The other is looking for the solution to their problems with the services and products that I provide. I’m hoping to get the chance to get feedback from both of these.

I’d like to know more about the system that you use to gather and analyse the phrases in the responses to your blog posts and how you interpret the data to develop new products.